He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
