if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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