I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
