i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize