craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
