he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
high people should be assigned attendants
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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