We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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