Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize