I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
