the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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