wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
