The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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