if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
