I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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