There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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