I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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