I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
