I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
