After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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