She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
