well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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