You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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