We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
