I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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