i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My penis needs a shock collar
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
