Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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