His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize