small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
