She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
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Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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