Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
