She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
