wakey wakey hands off snakey
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pants are for mortals
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize