You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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