Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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