make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
