ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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