Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just forgot I was standing up.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
