non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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