it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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