That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
