hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
