Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
