I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
