when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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