im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
