I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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