Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
one two three fourrrrnication!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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