Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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