So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
