did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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