Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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