Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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