i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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