I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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