the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
