Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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