that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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