Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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