I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
