I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize