Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I could make wine with my vomit
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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