If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
