It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
