dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
